The Wonder of the Wait.
Psalm 5:3 In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.
I think all of us are experiencing the wonder of the wait as we live under a “Stay at Home” order. I have lost count of the number of days I have been sitting in my home, as a matter of fact, I have completely lost track of what day it is. Days seem long, and yet I am not accomplishing all I need.
However, I have been able to spend some time on social media and connect with people I have not connected with in a very long time. I have seen and heard the fulfillment of hopes and dreams. I am not sure these have been the best uses of my time. It is not a wise use of time to compare lives. Although my life has had an abundance of blessings, there are still unrealized dreams I hold close to my heart. I bet there are many of us who, if being honest, would say there is a piece of the puzzle still missing they long to find. (Yes, I used puzzles since I have seen many puzzles posts these past few weeks).
Unfortunately, this morning, I had one of those, “why not me?” moments. Why does THAT person have everything? Why do THEY look so together as they skip through these days of isolation? What’s wrong with me? WHY NOT ME?!?!? Can you picture a two-year-old dropping to the ground kicking while wailing out an ear-piercing scream? Yeah, that was me, at least internally.
The good news is I have begun to learn healthy strategies when the “I wantsies” hit. I laced up my sneakers, grabbed my two golden retrievers, my headphones, jumped into the car, and off to the only trail park that is open. My 100 best friends adhering to social distancing and I were there. But the sun was out, the sky was blue, and the therapeutic three miles were straight ahead.
I began thinking I should just reach out to my dad. The two of us have been through more adventures, trials, loss, and victories than most. He is my “go-to” guy. He is probably one of the only people I completely trust. I mean, the guy has seen me at my absolute worst and still loves me. I know, that’s what some dads do. I am blessed to have him.
As I was on my walk (actually drag…180 pounds of energetic puppy power is hard to keep up with), I started my internal conversation with, “Dad, why is this happening?” At that moment, the white clouds in front of my gaze grabbed my attention. I had a sudden sensation that yes, I had the right words, but I was addressing the wrong person. I repeated my question, but this time it wasn’t spoken in thought to my amazing daddy here on earth; it was addressed to my Abba Father in heaven. The tears started immediately. It was as if the dam broke, and the emotions were allowed to be freed. This wasn’t a very pretty sight, and I really wished I had worn my mask (don’t judge me, I was outside). But here’s the best part, God heard me, and he wanted to respond.
As I was rapidly approaching the person in front of me, I was trying to figure out how I was going to navigate around him, the big mud puddles on either side of the trail, and the team of cyclists coming my way all while controlling my dogs. My vision was blurred from the tears filling my eyes, and I realized I was getting closer and closer to the person in front of me. I knew I was going to have to make a move soon, but as I was about to do my six-foot weave, I quickly looked up and saw there was writing on the back of his t-shirt. It read, “TRUST THE PROCESS.” Well, if you thought tears were flowing before, they indeed were now.
David tells me to “lay my requests before the Lord and wait expectantly.” I am not to just half hazard spout out my requests; I am to lay them out thoughtfully in preparation for an answer. I am then to wait with an open mind with great expectations of what’s to come.
At that moment, God was telling me he hears me, and there is a divine purpose for the steps I have made not only in years past but that very day. I am in process. I have to TRUST THE PROCESS. It may not be easy or indulging, but through the waiting, I am transformed into the person I was created to be. That my friend is the incredible wonder of the wait.