Finish Strong

2 Timothy 4:7 - I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Four years ago, I used these words to commemorate my mother’s life. After nine years of battling Alzheimer’s disease, she closed her eyes one last time, took her last breath, and went into the arms of her heavenly father.

This week was a pretty significant week for me. I received my first copy of a book I had the privilege of being a contributing author. At the end of the week, I will celebrate Mother’s Day with my two children. In between these two events is my mother’s birthday. Oh, how I wish she were here. I miss her every day. There have been many occasions where her absence has been felt, but this week it has pierced my heart.

I did not have a perfect relationship with my mother when I was younger. She was made from a different cloth than I was. She lived by the rules of the game, whereas me, well, not so much. She was academically brilliant, and my grades were mediocre. She was so creative, and me, yeah, not a creative bone in my body. There were moments where she would look at me with absolute wonder (and not the awestruck kind, more like the, “where did you come?” from kind). She would even say to my dad, “you deal with her; I don’t get her.” My dad and I laugh about it now. But at the time there were days, I was not sure how our story would end.

As I matured and grew, the dynamic of our relationship changed. Our relationship evolved and grew as I attended college and began to find my way along the path of life. I can remember times of crisis where within hours of frantic phone calls, my mother was on my doorstep ready to rescue me. Then came the moment where my world changed with one phone call from a doctor, and my mother became my Northern star.

While I was in high school, my mom, an elementary school teacher, decided to return to school to earn her Master’s degree in Special Education. Ten years later, her grandson, my son, was diagnosed with Autism. He was going to need supportive services and diverse education. I had absolutely no idea what to do, and she stepped in and guided me down a challenging path. I do not know what I would have done without her wisdom, determination, and love. She rescued me from an overwhelming situation, took the reigns, and started clearing paths.

I could share countless stories and examples of the unconditional love she poured out over me. There were very dark times where she provided me strength and courage. There were moments of laughter and hope. But most importantly, she showed me what relentless faith looked like.

The day we knew for sure she had Alzheimer’s disease was the second-worst day of my life. We had been on this journey before with her father, my grandfather. We knew there is no cure. We knew we received a slow and agonizing death sentence.

However, my mom did not cower; no, she dug in her heels and decided she would hold onto God’s promise of working all things out for good. She continued her study of the Bible. The precious women of her bible study would discretely select a person to partner with my mom during their time together. This gave my dad the security of knowing someone was keeping an eye on my mom while giving him some respite. This also allowed her the dignity to sustain her connections with the women of the church. My mom also volunteered for two clinical trials. She always said that if she could help find a cure that could one day benefit her children or grandchildren, she wanted to be a part of it. My mom knew God allowed this in her life for a reason, and she would trust whatever reason he had. My mom was determined to keep living each day to the fullest, leaning on God’s strength to get her through. She even pulled me aside and made me promise to make sure my dad found a partner after she left this earth. She laughed and said there was no way he could take care of himself, and that he would need a new partner.

I miss my mom and selfishly wish she were still here. I wish she could see how her grandson is excelling in this world and making a name for himself. I wish she could see her granddaughter, her princess, who has grown into a beautiful young woman, full of passion and determination. But most importantly, I want her to know that although she was my Northern star guiding me through the maze of special needs, she left me with something so much more significant. She left me an example of determined faith. She did fight the good fight, she did keep the faith, and she did finish strong. It is my hope the same can be said of me; that I fought for my faith, basing every day on that faith, and that I finish strong.

And hey, MOM, I kept my promise. Happy Birthday. I love you, always and forever.